Unanimity Battle

There are two sides to every coin. Or are there? Sure, some might think that diversity of opinion is an essential and beautiful element of a free democratic society—but we decided to take it as a team-wide challenge certain to shake the foundations of democracy to its very core. Each member of Gradient’s goal? Get as many Americans as possible to agree with our opinion.

There were only two rules aside from “no touching of the hair or face”:

1. No statements of fact (example: "The sky is blue" or "I am currently taking a survey").

2. No wishy-washy language like "maybe" or "sometimes" (example: "There may be other life in the universe").

Were any of us able to get literally everybody on our side?

Touché, democracy. Our sinister plot to get everyone to agree on something came up just short. Almost everyone prefers to avoid being repeatedly punched in the face and being on fire for an extended period of time (97% each). Ironically, Cory has our team’s most punchable face.* But Brandon knows the thing that brings Americans together to sing “Kumbaya” around the campfire is they’d rather not sing it inside the campfire.

Speaking of Kumbaya, we’re surprised Sarah’s call for effortless world peace isn’t more popular. Death by peanut butter also doesn’t worry folks as much as it should. A small contingent of Americans is apparently okay with people getting hurt—so long as it’s not themselves.

But life can’t be all ice cream and hiring professionals. Michal probably would have been better off stating “I would rather be punched in the face than be asked to point to Laos on a map.” And we feel for Emmanuel, who is clearly the victim of Americans lying about snacking during previews. 

* Cory wants readers to know he wrote this joke and is not actually a victim of violent workplace bullying.

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Which Brands Wake Up and Smell the(ir) Coffee?

In theory, there is someone out there who wakes up in the morning, excited to greet the sun and engage in the work they're passionate about. But most of us get up solely for that sweet, sweet cup of joe. Everything else that happens during the day is incidental. 

Not only do the majority of Americans drink coffee (84%), but almost a quarter (23%) drink multiple cups a day. To all you single-cup drinkers using your coffee pot as a mug, it’s time to be honest about your addiction. It’s okay, we support your commitment to the java grind.

We know Americans drink a lot of coffee, but which brand do they most prefer to brew at home? To answer this question, we used the only thing that gives us a buzz comparable to that muddy go-go juice—the MaxDiff experiment.

Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks are America’s favorite drug dealer coffee suppliers. It may be the case that most individuals prefer coffees with notes of s’mores and maple syrup, as more traditional roasters like Illy and Stumptown produce America’s least preferred home brewed coffee. Now onto more important questions, like which coffee will make the hair on our necks stand up and turn our spit into lightning?

Want to see the data? Curious about the methodology? Just reply to this email.

Poor Man Toes

Whether it’s food, nuclear power, or your favorite animated characters, fusion is pretty great. After all, what’s better than one thing you love? Two things you love smashed together in a portmanteau. Because everyone knows that any good monstrosity creation is nothing without a name. No one would stuff a duck inside a chicken inside a turkey if it weren’t so appetizingly called Turducken. With the obvious appeal of Turducken in mind, and since we can’t ask Americans who they would most like to see stuffed, we decided to find out which celebrity couple fusions have the most appeal. Close enough!

Brangelina, a fusion of former couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s first names, ranks as the most popular, with a quarter of Americans saying it is their favmanteau. For more proof that celebrity culture peaked in the early aughts, Bennifer, a combination of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, ranked second with 19%. To be fair, Ben Affleck seems to be the biggest fan of the naming convention since he has been with two other famous Jennifers (Aniston and Garner) since the early 2000s.

That’s a wrap, folks

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About Gradient

Gradient is a cross-functional team of industry analysts, market researchers, data scientists, technologists, and storytellers who help organizations uncover missed opportunities, find new layers of clarity, and pioneer new directions with confidence and statistical integrity. We work with startups, Fortune 100 brands, consulting firms, and political campaigns.